My sweet lil SJ.
SJ and the RED card.
SJ and the very bad morning which ended up with a red card.
Let me explain....
It started off as a normal morning. SJ got up and had her breakfast like she does everyday. We packed her lunch and got dressed. I combed her hair which is such task most days. Got in the van and took off towards her school.
We got there a little early but not too bad. She told me she didn't want to go in the gym and wait with her class. I told her that was fine we would just sit in the van and wait until I knew we would be able to walk into her classroom. That is when it started....
"I am going to miss you!"
I told her that she would have a good day and learn lots of wonderful things.
"But I will still miss you!"
When we got out of the van she grabbed on to my hand like she does everyday. I thought we were in the clear and had avoided any breakdown. If I would have bet on that I would have lost some money.
She grabs my hand tighter as we pass all of the offices. "I'm really going to miss you!" she tells me as she squeezes tighter.
When we get down to her classroom she grabs on to my leg. I give her a little hug and she starts crying. I instantly know this is going to be bad. Her teacher tried to take her hand and she wanted nothing to do with it. The principal who was my English teacher in high school tries to get her to smile and she wanted nothing to do with him either. I take her inside the door and she screams louder.
Oh great...
The teachers aide tries to talk to her and SJ just ignores her. I tell her that she needs to stop and have a good day. She is having none of it.
She keeps yelling and grabbing on to me. I tell her I have to leave and go to work. She screams harder.
I tell her I love her and will see her later. She clenches on to my arm and grabs my shirt.
I have to pull her off me and walk away. The poor teachers aide was right there to pick up the mess I left.
I then made the first mistake of parenting....I looked back. I know I shouldn't have done it but I did. I know you all will give me a break cause my mommy heart was hurting.
When I looked back I saw my little girl screaming and trying to grab me. It broke my heart and I started tearing up. I walked as fast as I could out of that school so I wouldn't make a fool of myself.
So flash forward to me picking her up from school.
She was full of smiles. I ask her if she got a red card today as I open her book bag because I knew she did. My mommy intuition told me that the fit she threw before I left continued.
Just so you all know a red card is a notice that is sent home to parents to let them know what had occurred during the day at school ONLY if your kid is bad AND had to sit on the red mat. They sit on the red mat after being given a certain amount of warnings. This is a way to make sure they aren't distruptive to the rest of the class and it allows the child time to calm down so they can try again.
Yup SJ had refused to do her work ALL morning long! Just like I knew she had.
I looked at her and said "What is this for?"
"Cause I missed you!"
"SJ it is okay that you missed me but it is not okay how you acted and that you did not do your work."
"Oh so I need to do my work even if I am sad?"
"Yes baby you need to always try your hardest."
"Ok Mommy I will try real hard tomorrow."
Since that day we have not recieved another notice from the school about her having to sit on the red mat. She still has rough mornings but we haven't had a day where she threw a massive fit like that.
Well not yet anyway...
I am very proud of her for trying her hardest even on the days she doesn't want to. She makes me proud for how hard she has been trying.
I know we will have tough days but I know she will at least try. That is all I ask of her because there will be times she fails and times she will succeed. She will never experience either of those if she doesn't at least try.
Does your child's school have something similar to a red mat for children who are learning the rules?
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